Meet Asha - you can follow her @dearcancer_itsme

“Everything looks fine.”
That’s what 4 medical professionals told me before I was diagnosed with breast cancer.

The “bump” that I felt while shaving my underarms was so tiny that people could barely feel what I was talking about, but I KNEW. Why? Because I learned to know my body and had started advocating for myself when it came to my health.

I am married to the most incredible man for 14 years, and parent 2 of the most insanely wonderful little humans.

This cancer battle has been hardest on them, especially our almost 10 year old son. Our bubbly 5 year old daughter weaves in and out about talks on death, she plays “funeral” just as easily as playing dolls, and it bring tears to this mama’s eyes to see my babies battle through this as well & how this has grown their faith.

Yet, how do you tell your babies that their whole world is being turned upside down?
Or how do you teach them about the beauty of heaven while also helping them to hold on to hope?
How do you help them grieve and scream and cry, while trying to process it all yourself while having “chemo brain.”
How does your heart not shatter when you see the fear and pain in their eyes?

Here’s how I have:
Cancer has changed the way I hold my babies.
I hold them tighter now.
I look deep into their eyes when I tell them“I love you!”
I apologize more and chastise less.
I pray everyday that they always remember the great moments and not the ones marred because of cancer’s dark presence.

The future seems a bit crazy since after chemo, a bilateral mastectomy, lots of radiation, adopting holistic medicine & treatments, and a ton of clean eating and detoxing, & yet the cancer is still not all gone and continues to spread.

I’m exhausted & frustrated.
I’m blessed and so grateful.
How can I be all four of those?
Because life is a beautiful contradiction.
Because I am STILL here to live it,
& so are YOU,
and for that I am so insanely grateful!
Breathe it ALL in, my dear breasties!
We’re in this together! 💕