So I am trying to be realistic with myself. 

My implants are not going to be perfect. They may turn out far from perfect. What is perfect anyways?

When I  think of breast implants I picture models who have the world's best boobs. And I am like, YASSS GIRL SLAYYY!!! I want those too!! 

We would all be lying if we said we didn't want our Foobs to turn out perfect. 

But in life, things typically don't turn out how we expect them to. And though I like to consider myself an optimist, it is probably unhealthy to expect my Foobs to come out perfect after my exchange surgery. 

So I am trying to be a realist. To remind myself that I am not defined by my breasts. That no matter how they turn out, I am still me. I am still strong. I am still beautiful. And I am still proud of my decision to have a preventative double mastectomy. 

Unlike many of my Breasties, I never took photos of my boobs before my surgery. I wanted to. I meant to. But I completely ran out of time. Plus, what am I going to do with those photos? Look at them longingly on the days I am feeling sad about their replacements? Nah, I am good. 

But then I was reminded that my PS took some photos of my breasts before my surgery. And I thought, BOOM now I can see my original boobs in all their glory! 

I called my PS and asked him to send me the photos. When they popped up in my inbox I was so excited/nervous/anxious. I haven't seen the girls in 11 months!! 

HAH... isn't funny how we remember things with rose covered lenses?

When I saw the photos of my boobs I was shocked. What are THESE?! 

They did not look anything like I remembered them. 

I always loved my boobs. They were small but I thought that they sat nicely and I could make them look REALLY good in clothes. My mom always said I made A LOT out of not a lot. lol 

But THESE? ehh they were nothing to write home about. 

Which really made me feel much better about my upcoming exchange surgery. 

I didn't ever have perfect breasts. And the ones I was born with felt like ticking time bombs trying to kill me. Byeeee Felicia's!! 

So bring on the exchange surgery. No matter the outcome, I am just thankful to have healthy Foobs <3

Xo,

Paige